On a much happier note...
I did it. I just got-up and did it. Didn't want to, but the rewards were well worth it.
I decided it was time to be the boss of myself again & not let PSP suck me under to such a degree. Also time to dial down the negative/anxiety producing thoughts. And, for at least one day, and hopefully many more to come, put my daughter, Katy, first today.
She has always been in Special Education since pre-school. After high school, she entered a 3 year transitional program for young adults with special needs; graduated June, 2012:) She's missed her former case manager much (she was the best!) as well as other staff & students who aren't able to graduate yet. .
So I drove her down there to hang-around a bit, and have lunch with the staff & some of her friends. What a positive difference it made in my daughter. She came running to car giggling with lots of stories to tell.
She was thrilled and I felt elated for her. And elated for myself that after being stuck on this unpleasant plateau, I was finally able to "just do it". Yea!!! And get outside of myself for a change. Extra big Yea!!!!!!!